Myrobalan Shivana (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
faithlikeaseed) wrote2019-08-01 12:00 am
faithlikeaseed) wrote2019-08-01 12:00 am
[Fearing to love too deeply- the strikes through Everett, an arrow through the center of his chest and out through his back, pinning him to his chair in perfect posture. As a man so wrapped up in words, always having a talent for them and using them as his very livelihood, that simple statement is so true it wounds him.
And in part, it heals him.
Or it will, with some time, some thought, some care, and some consideration. Myr continues to speak and Everett is silent, breath held until tears rolls down his cheeks and pool in his glasses. When words can finally form, he says nothing of himself, because oh....
His darling Myr.]
Of course I believe in you. You are irreplaceable. I could tell... [Everett repeats, quieter and fonder so very, very assured]
I could tell right away.
And in part, it heals him.
Or it will, with some time, some thought, some care, and some consideration. Myr continues to speak and Everett is silent, breath held until tears rolls down his cheeks and pool in his glasses. When words can finally form, he says nothing of himself, because oh....
His darling Myr.]
Of course I believe in you. You are irreplaceable. I could tell... [Everett repeats, quieter and fonder so very, very assured]
I could tell right away.
[L knows little of truly "sweet creatures"; animals are supposed to have a natural distrust for duplicity in humans, and L knows himself well enough to feel unease around any barking dog that can raise the alarm and alert others to everything terrible about him, even if it's only presented vaguely and broadly. He half-raises a spindly hand, not quite extending his fingers toward the worm even as Myr does with affection and confidence.
If it feels affection toward Myr, after all, it might feel protectiveness. Ergo, L might be left with a bloody stump for daring to come this close, even in a dream.]
From what I understand, dream-walking has always been of interest to witches. As far as the risks, the way it was explained to me... if you were a hungry mouse, in the dwelling place of a human, there's an ideal way to be: undetected. At least, that's the obvious and expected answer, but it isn't the only one. A mouse could also be welcome... invited, with its own place to sleep and its food provided, but at the mercy of its host to roam or be relegated to a cage. Both have their advantages and drawbacks... it is a violation to enter a dream without permission if you can manage it, but once you have, there's more freedom to explore. It isn't a violation to enter a dream with permission, but you may be restricted access to all that you're interested in by a knowing party. So...
[A pause. It's a lot of odd information, presented in a dream and a dreamlike fashion to match, perhaps.]
Ideally, you'd need to be a mouse that is not only welcome, but allowed to go anywhere you'd like, with the cats shut in a crate by your host.
If it feels affection toward Myr, after all, it might feel protectiveness. Ergo, L might be left with a bloody stump for daring to come this close, even in a dream.]
From what I understand, dream-walking has always been of interest to witches. As far as the risks, the way it was explained to me... if you were a hungry mouse, in the dwelling place of a human, there's an ideal way to be: undetected. At least, that's the obvious and expected answer, but it isn't the only one. A mouse could also be welcome... invited, with its own place to sleep and its food provided, but at the mercy of its host to roam or be relegated to a cage. Both have their advantages and drawbacks... it is a violation to enter a dream without permission if you can manage it, but once you have, there's more freedom to explore. It isn't a violation to enter a dream with permission, but you may be restricted access to all that you're interested in by a knowing party. So...
[A pause. It's a lot of odd information, presented in a dream and a dreamlike fashion to match, perhaps.]
Ideally, you'd need to be a mouse that is not only welcome, but allowed to go anywhere you'd like, with the cats shut in a crate by your host.
Keep your trap shut. Snitching won't save him.
[Flat,] Nor will standing idly by.
[So, no.]
[So, no.]
So stab me in the back yourself, keep Linden locked in your basement, whatever, but don't go spilling stories about my past and my business to un-involved people.
[He doesn't even know about Sookie. He views even Connor as unrelated.]
[He doesn't even know about Sookie. He views even Connor as unrelated.]
And will any of that stop you, short of killing you outright?
Maybe, maybe not. The fact remains this should stay a personal matter. Involving more people doesn't keep him any safer it just puts more people in the crossfire.
[Is there some twinge of guilt in there? It's hard to catch sight of, like something small and scared, hiding in the prickling tangled overgrowth of annoyance and resentment.]
[Is there some twinge of guilt in there? It's hard to catch sight of, like something small and scared, hiding in the prickling tangled overgrowth of annoyance and resentment.]
Edited 2020-04-06 16:08 (UTC)
[Very quietly,] You've made it clear to me that I'm not enough by myself to protect him.
[And oh, how deeply that knowledge cuts Myr and makes him bleed.]
Pretending otherwise would be stupid and irresponsible.
[And oh, how deeply that knowledge cuts Myr and makes him bleed.]
Pretending otherwise would be stupid and irresponsible.
[There's an exasperated huff over the line.]
Have you even been trying though?
[The incident with Mello is strong in his memory.]
Have you even been trying though?
[The incident with Mello is strong in his memory.]
[That gets a hiss out of Myr he can't bite back.]
Would it only look to you like trying if I did lock him in my basement?
Would it only look to you like trying if I did lock him in my basement?
All I know is tossing him to a seedy back alley- [He snaps his mouth shut, realizing his admission a hair too late, but only pauses for a short second. No taking it back so he might as well finish the swing.] -brothel definitely doesn't look like trying.
[After all, there's no way Myr didn't know what happened to his bonded that night. Maybe he didn't know Niles had seen it, but it was easy to guess. Now feigning ignorance about it wasn't an option though.]
[After all, there's no way Myr didn't know what happened to his bonded that night. Maybe he didn't know Niles had seen it, but it was easy to guess. Now feigning ignorance about it wasn't an option though.]
Edited 2020-04-06 18:58 (UTC)
[There is a long, long pause.
(He should have been there. He should have intervened. Niles isn't wrong on that.)]
And watching M rape him without intervening doesn't look like you've principles about what to do in such cases.
[At least he doesn't sound exactly as furious as he feels about that. Only mostly.]
(He should have been there. He should have intervened. Niles isn't wrong on that.)]
And watching M rape him without intervening doesn't look like you've principles about what to do in such cases.
[At least he doesn't sound exactly as furious as he feels about that. Only mostly.]
[He knows that when taking cheap shots, turn about is fair play. Since Myr can't see him, (now or ever), he doesn't feel the need to muffle his wince. He wasn't expecting that blow to actually touch a nerve.]
I wasn't holding his arms down. [The principle elements of what happened to him and Linden were parallel, but not the same.] Besides, it's not my job to protect him.
[The anger in his voice hasn't waned. He's not smug, he's not gloating. He's agreeing that it shouldn't have happened, and relieving himself of that responsibility in the same breath.]
I wasn't holding his arms down. [The principle elements of what happened to him and Linden were parallel, but not the same.] Besides, it's not my job to protect him.
[The anger in his voice hasn't waned. He's not smug, he's not gloating. He's agreeing that it shouldn't have happened, and relieving himself of that responsibility in the same breath.]
Edited 2020-04-07 17:27 (UTC)
Oh, but it was to come back and remind him of what he'd meant to sign away, wasn't it.
[Myr's tone is brittle.]
To make sure he knew you'd the same opportunity he fucked up--and passed on it.
[Myr's tone is brittle.]
To make sure he knew you'd the same opportunity he fucked up--and passed on it.
[Leaving the note was a petty, unnecessary gesture, and although he definitely doesn't regret it, trying to pretend it was justified action that Linden deserved would be ridiculous, wouldn't it. So instead he digs into the second point.]
And what opportunity, exactly, are you imagining I had? Mello was no illusion I could just wave away.
And what opportunity, exactly, are you imagining I had? Mello was no illusion I could just wave away.
[The worm, by turn, withdraws a space at the motion from L, his clear mirror in uncertainty. It tugs Myr's smile a little melancholy to see and feel them so, his Bonded and his new friend each worried about the other's potential for harm.]
It's all right, [he reassures both of them.] He won't hurt you.
[Which is apparently enough for the worm, who folds itself into a more compact shape beside the two dreamers.
Myr isn't quite so bold to use it as a backrest--though it's in range for that, and likely soft enough beside--as he turns his attention fully to L, instead leaning in to rest an elbow on his knee, chin in his hand. His ears twitch with thought as he processes the analogy.]
So much of it's focused on how each dreamer here is--usually--a world unto herself, then? [It's still so strange to think of, even after months of living it; of course, the part of the Fade a given dreamer occupied would bend in around her as its residents tried to capture her attentions, but it remained the Fade even so. A dream was a journey that might intersect with the paths of spirits or dreamers or other demons, not a wholly internal experience that had to be broken into from outside. (With a few horrifying exceptions he'd heard of, now and again.)] And not this--wider experience that we Mirrorbound are given to?
[A pause, and something occurs to him--] If it's something you're keen on practicing with a willing subject, I'd not mind a visitor to mine, now and again.
[Dreaming entirely within the confines of his skull was lonely and isolating and alien. Even so, the idea he could ask a Witch to visit to relieve that...hadn't occurred until now. And there really isn't a Witch he'd trust with the possibility of what his nightmares contain--other than L.]
It's all right, [he reassures both of them.] He won't hurt you.
[Which is apparently enough for the worm, who folds itself into a more compact shape beside the two dreamers.
Myr isn't quite so bold to use it as a backrest--though it's in range for that, and likely soft enough beside--as he turns his attention fully to L, instead leaning in to rest an elbow on his knee, chin in his hand. His ears twitch with thought as he processes the analogy.]
So much of it's focused on how each dreamer here is--usually--a world unto herself, then? [It's still so strange to think of, even after months of living it; of course, the part of the Fade a given dreamer occupied would bend in around her as its residents tried to capture her attentions, but it remained the Fade even so. A dream was a journey that might intersect with the paths of spirits or dreamers or other demons, not a wholly internal experience that had to be broken into from outside. (With a few horrifying exceptions he'd heard of, now and again.)] And not this--wider experience that we Mirrorbound are given to?
[A pause, and something occurs to him--] If it's something you're keen on practicing with a willing subject, I'd not mind a visitor to mine, now and again.
[Dreaming entirely within the confines of his skull was lonely and isolating and alien. Even so, the idea he could ask a Witch to visit to relieve that...hadn't occurred until now. And there really isn't a Witch he'd trust with the possibility of what his nightmares contain--other than L.]
No--he's a man, who could be distracted or misled, [or killed, though Myr knows better than to voice that one even if it's the unworthy feeling he's been carrying with him for months.
It would be easier. It would be so much easier.
And wrong.]
Something you've shown yourself expert at.
It would be easier. It would be so much easier.
And wrong.]
Something you've shown yourself expert at.
[Niles lets out a huff of breath.]
Distracted? Tch, then what? Do you think Linden would have run? He was determined not to resist. Any action that left Mello breathing would just have ended with the room in flames, and both of them too drunk to find the exit.
And my venom isn't instant.
[So yes, he'd had the thought too. Truth be told would have followed through if a line had been crossed. Specifically the line that Linden himself had drawn at 'lasting physical damage'. Bruises and bleeding were one thing, but if Mello had choked him out much longer...they would be having a very different conversation.]
Distracted? Tch, then what? Do you think Linden would have run? He was determined not to resist. Any action that left Mello breathing would just have ended with the room in flames, and both of them too drunk to find the exit.
And my venom isn't instant.
[So yes, he'd had the thought too. Truth be told would have followed through if a line had been crossed. Specifically the line that Linden himself had drawn at 'lasting physical damage'. Bruises and bleeding were one thing, but if Mello had choked him out much longer...they would be having a very different conversation.]
[Myr huffs back at Niles.
He recognizes the difficulty of the situation--he's thought, and thought, and thought over what he could have done, if he'd obeyed his instinct to come running (and the day would yet come, he's sure, when he would)--but he would still have done something.
You say it's impossible and I'm the one who's supposed to protect him, who hasn't sight or venom either?
--But he doesn't say that. It's self-pitying and would give too much to someone he still--despite his own fury--rather weren't an enemy and nevertheless is.]
I think, [slowly,] if it had been anyone but Linden you'd've found a way around those impossibilities.
He recognizes the difficulty of the situation--he's thought, and thought, and thought over what he could have done, if he'd obeyed his instinct to come running (and the day would yet come, he's sure, when he would)--but he would still have done something.
You say it's impossible and I'm the one who's supposed to protect him, who hasn't sight or venom either?
--But he doesn't say that. It's self-pitying and would give too much to someone he still--despite his own fury--rather weren't an enemy and nevertheless is.]
I think, [slowly,] if it had been anyone but Linden you'd've found a way around those impossibilities.
Probably. [Said casually, unconcerned. Myr can't see his shrug, but it's not hard to imagine.] Then again, I wouldn't have been peering through the window [Crouching beside the bed, ready to strike.] at anyone else's piss poor judgement calls.
[Then, quietly.]
Do you really want to know the details that stayed my hand? The situation is not as you are imagining it.
[Then, quietly.]
Do you really want to know the details that stayed my hand? The situation is not as you are imagining it.
[Probably. That's some kind of relief, but the addendum, the pointed little reminder that Niles had watched all of it even so makes him sick all over again to hear it.
It makes him clipped, chilly.]
Tell me.
It makes him clipped, chilly.]
Tell me.
[A sigh crackles over the line.]
They met in the morning at a cafe. Did you know he's looking for a third bond, specifically a witch?
They met in the morning at a cafe. Did you know he's looking for a third bond, specifically a witch?
[This, at least, is no surprise.]
He'd intimated as much. [Myr's feelings on the matter are complex, though he's careful to keep it from his tone.]
They spoke about that?
[It explained a great deal about the whys of what had happened, if L had said as much to Mello's face. Maker protect them all from the younger Witch's jealousy.]
He'd intimated as much. [Myr's feelings on the matter are complex, though he's careful to keep it from his tone.]
They spoke about that?
[It explained a great deal about the whys of what had happened, if L had said as much to Mello's face. Maker protect them all from the younger Witch's jealousy.]
They did. Mello threw a little tantrum when he found out, Linden shut him down, then fell for the brat's sulking and gave him a time and a place to take what he wanted.
[Anger rises in his words, he may not have any sympathy for Linden, but Mello clearly infuriates him all the same.]
He set up the meeting. They were both piss drunk. Linden cooperated with him, submitted to him, told him what he wanted to hear. And when that wasn't enough and Mello got violent, he finally started chasing his own pleasure just as eagerly.
[Anger rises in his words, he may not have any sympathy for Linden, but Mello clearly infuriates him all the same.]
He set up the meeting. They were both piss drunk. Linden cooperated with him, submitted to him, told him what he wanted to hear. And when that wasn't enough and Mello got violent, he finally started chasing his own pleasure just as eagerly.
Edited 2020-04-13 04:40 (UTC)
[A noise escapes from between Myr's teeth--a little, dying-animal sort of keen. There's a juddering, clattering sound of beads on antler bone as he shakes his head, as if the image Niles invokes (the recollected feelings of what had happened through their Bond; pain and the desperate terror of suffocation and something else, equally desperate--) could be that easily dismissed.
I suspect, in fact, there was no world where I could have said no.]
You'd blame him for that, [he says, tone tight with the effort of self-control.] You'd excuse your own inaction because, what, trapped and suffering, he did anything to make it less awful?
I suspect, in fact, there was no world where I could have said no.]
You'd blame him for that, [he says, tone tight with the effort of self-control.] You'd excuse your own inaction because, what, trapped and suffering, he did anything to make it less awful?
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