Brief though their acquaintance has been, there's something about Simon that struck Myr as stone-stable. It's something the faun can instinctively trust even when he can hardly think for grief and fear; it makes him freeze rather than fight when the paladin wraps him up in a hug.
It pulls another wretched noise from somewhere deep within him to be reminded the living care. "They wouldn't, if they'd seen what I'd done. No one did, after. A l-liability," he manages. "A danger. Please--"
He doesn't have strength for more than an abortive pull away from Simon, before he's sagging against that solid wall of him with his face against one broad shoulder. "Please," he echoes. "I have to save them. It has to work, if I try enough; it has to change,"
Exactly how many times has he been through this without it altering in one detail? Too many.
Simon doesn't know how this tower came to lie in ruins, and the mental picture he's beginning to build from Myr's words involves the faun singlehandedly wrecking the place with what must have been an incredibly powerful spell gone awry. Surely, from the way he's talking, the collapse must have been his doing--but equally obviously, he can't have meant to.
He rubs at Myr's back with one large hand as his friend relents and leans on him, and after a long moment, tries to steer him gently to a place where they can sit and rest.
"What is it that happened, exactly? That you think people would condemn you for?"
Perversely, it may have been easier for Myr to bear if he'd had a hand in the destruction around them. Intentional or otherwise it would have warranted opprobrium and exile; it would have deserved the treatment he received (he thought he received) in way he understood. For what he had done--
He consents, in his numb and nerveless way, to be led a space away from where he'd been digging; there are ample seats among the upthrust rubble. He has eyes only for the slab he'd been digging futilely at; he doesn't hear Simon's questions at first for the force of his attention. When it does register that he's being spoken to--he stiffens, the fur about his neck and shoulders standing up.
"I--" His eyes go to Simon's face--back to the slab--then to the nearest void in the memory, his pupils widening as he realizes what that means. At what's obvious, to someone who already knew what had happened (that Simon doesn't and can't does not occur to him, not when his logic's snarled up in knots by emotion).
What is it that happened, exactly? The memory of that is too close at hand for proper distance and it sits on his chest like a sudden weight. He tries to draw a breath but it is juddering, jagged, does nothing to calm. "--I can't--I d, don't, I don't want to remember that," but there's hardly any helping it when everything conspires to remind him.
He takes an unsteady step back, away from the paladin, like he'd run--if he weren't trembling so to make it nearly impossible.
no subject
It pulls another wretched noise from somewhere deep within him to be reminded the living care. "They wouldn't, if they'd seen what I'd done. No one did, after. A l-liability," he manages. "A danger. Please--"
He doesn't have strength for more than an abortive pull away from Simon, before he's sagging against that solid wall of him with his face against one broad shoulder. "Please," he echoes. "I have to save them. It has to work, if I try enough; it has to change,"
Exactly how many times has he been through this without it altering in one detail? Too many.
But surely he could fix the next one.
no subject
He rubs at Myr's back with one large hand as his friend relents and leans on him, and after a long moment, tries to steer him gently to a place where they can sit and rest.
"What is it that happened, exactly? That you think people would condemn you for?"
no subject
He consents, in his numb and nerveless way, to be led a space away from where he'd been digging; there are ample seats among the upthrust rubble. He has eyes only for the slab he'd been digging futilely at; he doesn't hear Simon's questions at first for the force of his attention. When it does register that he's being spoken to--he stiffens, the fur about his neck and shoulders standing up.
"I--" His eyes go to Simon's face--back to the slab--then to the nearest void in the memory, his pupils widening as he realizes what that means. At what's obvious, to someone who already knew what had happened (that Simon doesn't and can't does not occur to him, not when his logic's snarled up in knots by emotion).
What is it that happened, exactly? The memory of that is too close at hand for proper distance and it sits on his chest like a sudden weight. He tries to draw a breath but it is juddering, jagged, does nothing to calm. "--I can't--I d, don't, I don't want to remember that," but there's hardly any helping it when everything conspires to remind him.
He takes an unsteady step back, away from the paladin, like he'd run--if he weren't trembling so to make it nearly impossible.