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Feb. 20th, 2023 08:29 pmSTATISTICS
Myrobalan Shivana
FULL NAME
29AGE
Male SEX
5'4" (163cm) HEIGHT
Blond HAIR
None (Hazel) EYES
FamiliarROLE
--TO COME...
PERSONALITY
Outwardly, Myrobalan is friendly, curious, more than a little contrarian--and very, very dedicated to Andraste and the Maker. He's built his life around the twin pillars of faith and magic, believing wholly in the truth of the Chant and its authority to guide his life--including the tenet that magic was made to serve man rather than rule over him. There's no question, when talking to him, that mages were part of the Maker's plan and placed on Thedas that they might benefit others with their gifts. Neither does he doubt for a moment that every single soul on Thedas is there to take the raw grist they've been given in life--every event that happens to them, for good or evil--and make something bright and strong out of it and themselves. It makes him relentless in his pursuit to be better and bolster those around them so they, in turn, can meet their full potential.Inwardly, Myr is a man of deep feeling who has learned to channel and repress those emotions so he can fit into the shape he ought to have. His faith is not born from a lack of doubt but forged in the fires of that doubt; it's the product of a restless, active mind that won't shy from the truth even when it's ugly: The text of the Chant and the practice of its followers don't often match up; the Circles have been the deaths of more mages than they've saved; to all appearances the Maker may never turn His face to the world again; and southern Chantry orthodoxy condemns him, and every other mage, as an irredeemable monster from birth. He clings to what he believes so ardently because there must be a way to redress all the evil in the world, even if that means fighting inch by inch to fix it himself, by fixing himself.
Somewhere, down under everything, that need to believe gives way to a bitter furious resentment at the injustice of the world, the recognition that things really aren't the way they ought to be. Because he can't do anything about it with main force he squashes it and focuses on mending what he can. He's had years of practice at swallowing his anger and despair in the face of provocation--contesting regularly with body-snatching demons in his dreams gives him many opportunities to learn--but he's still not perfect at it. His native stubbornness stands him in good stead here: If his usual solutions to something that's angering him won't work, he'll keep prying away at the problem from all angles until he fixes it (or can come to grips with it being unfixable).
Though up until he blinded himself with his own hands, he hadn't yet come up against anything he'd give up on as unfixable. While he will not--or cannot--yet acknowledge it, (thinking in his own bluff way that not being miserable about simply existing as blind means he's recovered entirely from what happened) he carries deep psychic scarring from the trauma of the event itself and his Circlemates' subsequent reaction to his injuries. Part of this lack of insight is that he hasn't yet encountered any situation that will reawaken his trauma; part of it is his disregard for his own feelings of injury and despair. He knows, without looking it straight in the face, that his relationship to the people he loves the most has been ruptured; he does not know how to fix it any more than he knows how to regrow his own eyes. Both hurt deeply and both are something he has absolutely no foundation for dealing with unsupported by those around him--so he chooses to ignore them as somehow unreal (and pray that the same suicidal depression that nearly swallowed him once doesn't come for him again).
Despite all of this, he loves freely--both in the sense he's been very giving of his romantic attentions and the sense he genuinely, affectionately cares about most people he meets. Even if every other part of his faith is subject to hidden internal doubt and revision, he takes the tenet that the Chant must be sung from all corners of Thedas before the Maker will return very seriously. As he's never seen anyone truly convert to the faith out of fear--in fact it seems to have exactly the opposite of the effect desired--that leaves gentle persuasion as the only option, which requires getting to know people and love them enough that they can be convinced of the rightness of Andrastianism.
At least, that's the goal; in practice, he's as prey to anyone else to failures of patience and petty annoyances and prejudices and misunderstandings. Nevertheless, he tries his damnedest; it's what he's here to do.
APPEARANCE
Short and stocky, with broad shoulders and pronounced musculature under his robes, Myr doesn't line up with the usual willowy idea of an elf--but he's got the sharp ears to prove he's one of the People all the same. His hair is a pale wheat-blond, typically braided and prone to cowlicks, the color in stark contrast to the healthy tan of his skin. He wears a blindfold at all times: A careful observer would notice there's scars along the tops of his cheekbones, not quite concealed by the cloth. He commonly wears a dark blindfold with a golden eye pattern as a memento of one of his Bonded from Aefenglom.Insofar as he can, he favors the colors red and gold in clothing; his most typical outfit is the split-skirted flowing linen robes common to Hasmal Circle. His are covered in subtle motifs of foliage and flowers, the mark of rank for a Harrowed Hasmali mage who specializes in Creation. Now that he's got antlers, he eschews anything that has to be pulled on over his head lest it get caught. Whether he's in plain homespun for gardening or dress robes, his antlers are typically decorated with colorful ribbons and small charms with bee and plum-blossom motifs.
In dreams, Myr appears much as he was before his injuries; his eyes are hazel and his long hair pulled back in a tidy plait. His manner is visibly more assured, his movements quicker and more fluid.
As a Familiar, Myr has a variable suite of animal traits based on a white fallow deer: An impressive rack of palmate antlers for much of the year (August-April), large mobile ears, and sometimes deer-like hooved legs from the hips down. White fur with faint traces of spotting may cover his arms, legs, back, and neck, blending in with his hair. It's most common to catch him in only the antlers and fur, with the other traits becoming more prominent or receding with need or emotion.
ABILITIES & SKILLS
CIRCLE MAGE Not only is Myr a mage--blessed (or cursed) with the ability to touch the Fade and warp reality at a thought--he was born in the Free Marches and thus taken to and educated in a Circle of Magi after his magic manifested. Hasmal Circle provided a classical education on par with that of some of Thedas' better universities, shaping Myr's mind as well as his magical abilities. He is broadly read (though largely in areas of particular interest to him--theology, natural history, strategy & tactics) and capable of drawing on what he's learned to construct arguments or reason through problems. He also knows no small amount of Thedosian magical theory, albeit in a kind of scattershot way with a heavy focus on his own specialty, Creation magic.
LUCID DREAMER
Long experience with being lucid in the Fade has left Myr able to orient quickly in dreams and retain a firm hold of himself regardless of what he encounters while dreaming. His grip on his identity is so strong that he retains the ability to see in dreams and his appearance reverts to what it was before he blinded himself. Additionally, his own natural madcap fearlessness is amplified when dreaming, as he is used to injury and even death having no lasting consequences for him.
KNIGHT-ENCHANTER
A knight-enchanter is a mage trained to stand side-by-side with conventional troops in front-line combat, making use of magical barriers and zones of warped time to even the odds against other physical combatants while plying their skill with staff and spirit blade. Myr was only a few months' shy of completing his training and sitting his vigil to be named a knight-enchanter in full when he blinded himself; he has kept up his combat skills as best he can through arduous practice since then.
BEEKEEPER
Creation mages on Thedas can learn to summon swarms of stinging insects to afflict their foes. Some Creation mages take this ability a lot further, using their magical prowess to assist them in the care and keeping of swarms of honeybees. Myr was Hasmal Circle's junior beekeeper for several years, and has learned both the magical and conventional management of honeybees over that time.
FAMILIAR
As a Familiar, Myr has some animalistic traits as well as the ability to take the shape of an animal. His most practiced form--the form he became very comfortable with as a Faun in Aefenglom--is a white fallow deer buck the size of a bull moose (or Irish elk). At present, he has not worked out any other forms he can take. In addition, he has a Familiar's potential to Devote himself to a Myth or a Legend... But it remains to be seen if he will choose to do so.
HISTORY
Myr is a city elf and a Circle mage from the tiny city-state of Hasmal, one of the many making up Thedas' Free Marches. Born in Hasmal's alienage to a Tevinter refugee father who cared very much for him and a mother who very much didn't, he had a largely uneventful childhood... Up until his cousin Vandelin manifested magic and was carted off to Hasmal's Circle of Magi.And then, two years later, the same thing happened to him.
As a religious and (mostly) obedient, (mostly) sweet-tempered kid with a streak of curiosity a mile wide, Myr did very well in a Circle. (It helped he had his cousin there to look after him.) Despite some early struggles at learning to control his magic, he found he had a natural bent for the Creation school... and enough energy, enthusiasm, and physical ability to make a good squire to his Circle's knight-enchanters. This latter only cemented his love for Andrastianism and loyalty to the Chantry--which put him at unfortunate odds with his Libertarian cousin, though they stayed close to each other (and even enjoyed their truly spectacular arguments) despite the philosophical gulf between them.
At least, they did until the Mage Rebellion broke out. When Hasmal's Libertarians and their allies finally chose to make a break for it, Myr and Van ended up on opposite sides of the fighting. Or would-be fighting, because Vandelin--a master of Entropy magic, and loathe to actually hurt anyone--put Hasmal's defenders, Myr among them, into a deep sleep to make good on the Libertarians' escape.
Vandelin did not expect (and didn't know) one of his apprentices would stay behind long enough to sow mayhem among the sleepers by casting horror spells on them. The spell combination inflicted a waking nightmare so terrible Myr tore out his own eyes to stop seeing it.
The next two years of Myr's life, as he recovered from his self-inflicted injury and learned to live with his blindness, were particularly terrible. His mentor departed with her other knight-enchanter apprentices, leaving him behind as a liability; most of his other Circlemates regarded him with varying degrees of horror, concern, and pity. And for all he knew his beloved cousin had done that to him deliberately--though he fought anyone who'd say it, all the more viciously to keep the doubt in his own heart at bay.
Slowly, eventually, life both improved--as Myr recovered from his trauma (somewhat)--and worsened, as Hasmal grew more hostile to the mages and templars camped out in their ruined Circle. Eventually, the Inquisition learned of their plight and extended an offer of rescue--and Myr, with the rest of his Circle, packed up to make the long and dangerous trek to Skyhold.
Worldstate:
[x] The Warden saved First Enchanter Irving and the mages of Kinloch Hold during Uldred's uprising; the mages in turn assisted at the battle of Denerim.
[x] Queen Anora rules Ferelden alone.
[x] A rogue Hawke sided with the mages of the Gallows in Kirkwall.
[x] The Inquisitor chose to recruit the templars.
[x] Celene proved victorious in the Orlesian civil war and elevated Briala to Marquise of the Dales.
[x] Though only the Maker could know it, Cassandra Pentaghast is on track to becoming Divine.
All remaining decisions can be assumed to have been those that leave the maximal number of companions (and interesting NPCs) alive and in play.
Aefenglom CRAU:
After being snatched (or copied) off Thedas via a mirror in Aefenglom's Looking-Glass House, Myr found himself gradually growing into a Faun (despite his ardent hope he'd instead develop the local magic and become a Witch). While the loss of his magic and ongoing struggles with his blindness weighed heavily on him, he rapidly became involved with several other Mirrorbound who helped him grow well beyond who he'd been on Thedas. Most important among these were Everett Vaughn (another Faun, from a fantasy world much kinder than Thedas), Viren (a Dragon, from a world about as bad as Thedas in different ways), and L Lawliet (a Witch, from near-modern Earth), his triad of Bondmates.
By the time he makes it to Folkmore, he's learned a lot of bitter lessons about accepting his own limitations--but also grown beyond them in a number of ways. Exposure to people from many different worlds who've walked many different paths in life has also broadened his perspective on many of Thedas' historical contingencies (like the Circle of Magi) that he thought were inevitable, if flawed, solutions to its unique problems. Which is to say: He's outgrown the Circle and begun to think that maybe, maybe, he could've had a better life if he'd been allowed to grow up outside it. (Wait until his cousin Vandelin hears that one.)
He's also frozen half-to-death and can't remember whether or not he had to watch one of his Bondmates (L) die, permanently, because he wasn't able to rescue him from the self-made illusion he was trapped in.
[To be expanded upon.]
